i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
