It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
