i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
