I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We named our party play list daddy issues
we made out on top of his cat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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