Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
