the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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