I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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