So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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