so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
