i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
