There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
