I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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