farters have to be the big spoon...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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