I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize