you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
