We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
