I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
