yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
