OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
