Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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