You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Shame - the story of my life.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize