"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
