Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
