Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
