I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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