I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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