quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
