ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
