benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
