Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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