Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
