I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
