Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
