I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
