Don't you send me to vm
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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