She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
