She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
