Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
