My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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