so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
