Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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