I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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