You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
