Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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