I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize