someone get that fucking seahorse.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
