can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
