I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
