Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
