I accidentally burped into my bong.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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