he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
