is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
