How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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