More tranny stories later!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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