she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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