The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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