I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
